Today my kids headed back to school. And as I sat in my green chair, ensconced by the silence and my thoughts, I mourned how quickly they are growing up.

I know it sounds cliche, but we have to pause every once in a while and reflect at the passage of time. We go on about our every day lives for good and bad, and neglect to soak up what is right in front of us. For me it’s an 8th, 6th and 4th grader, who just yesterday needed my help with everything from teeth brushing to outfit choosing – who are now setting their own alarms and making their own breakfast! Not to mention complaining about the first day of school photos…

But since I can actually hear myself think, and pray, today, I have been wrestling with my roller coaster emotions – pure joy at silence in my house on one side, and sorrow for the days gone by on the other. And as so often is the case, God provided perfectly for me in these words:

“Know your sheep by name;
carefully attend to your flocks;
(Don’t take them for granted;
possessions don’t last forever, you know.)
And then, when the crops are in
and the harvest is stored in the barns,
You can knit sweaters from lambs’ wool,
and sell your goats for a profit;
There will be plenty of milk and meat
to last your family through the winter.”
Proverbs 27:23-27 The Message

For me, it’s about clinging more lightly to lesser things, and grasping with all my might to those far greater.

Enough said.

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Wow. It’s been only two weeks of summer and I need a major attitude check.

I’m exhausted from my new full-time summer jobs of: chef, driver, referee and cruise director. Between the radio blaring something like “California Girls”, the bickering of the “too much time together” siblings, and the constant sound of the dishwasher or washing machine, I can’t even hear myself think…much less write or be productive otherwise.

Maybe you’ve noticed…I haven’t written a blog in over two weeks. Honestly, I’m just plain tired.

So now I’m at the lake having a much needed reprieve, and taking inventory, so to speak. And what I’ve found in my assessment is not pretty: I’ve developed a terrible habit of rolling my eyes.

All. The. Time.

(Maybe it’s rubbing off from my kids…LOL)

If I’m frustrated with a non-response, as I’m wiping the counters, I roll my eyes.
If I’m angry at an overreaction, as I’m walking away to do laundry, I roll my eyes.
If I’m tired of all the fighting in my car, as I’m driving along, I roll my eyes.

So imagine my surprise when my son said to me the other day during a particularly challenging mother/teenage son moment, “I can see you rolling your eyes at me Mom, and it’s not nice!”

And even though I cannot see myself, I don’t like the looks of it, either.

As I come to grips with my little “habit”, I bristle at the thought of becoming what I have pleaded with my kids not to be…intolerant, ungrateful, selfish and snotty!

So how do I change my attitude with a long, long summer to go? And what has gotten into me?

Well, I know what hasn’t gotten into me lately…
My prayer group has ended for the summer
I’ve taken time off from my Bible study
I’m not regularly preparing any messages

In short, summer has gotten a hold of my brain, and apparently my eyes! And it doesn’t look good on me.

So, starting today I will fight with a new weapon.
My new summer mantra will be: “Take every thought captive…take every thought captive…take every thought captive…take every thought captive,” in hopes that I will be able to salvage my self-respect and my integrity in the Mom department.

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

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With the school year ending in just days, I can’t help but look forward in anticipation to a few months with no schedules, no deadlines, no childrens’ homework, no early morning wake-ups.

Yet, I will miss that very routine I’m so eager to leave in the dust. I will miss order (even in chaos). I will miss scheduled work times, play times, walking times and study times. I especially will miss uninterrupted “Mom time.”

But, I still wouldn’t trade those lazy days of summer for anything, even if it means being full time cook, driver, maid and cruise director. Because when you think about it, when our kids reach school age, they see their teachers and friends more waking hours than they see their parents!

So I say, Summertime is our time. And investing in actual “TIME” spent with our kids is what summer should be about. Is it easy? Not always.

But we can choose to take advantage of the opportunity to sow seeds of memories, teach life lessons and experience new adventures together. If we chill on the camps, focus on the family, relish the luxury of pajamas and late breakfasts, enjoy special outings (maybe one with each child alone)…then we will create lasting fruit in our kids’ lives.

That said, I’m sure amidst the fighting, incessant demands and “hyper-parenting” there will be days I will long for a “summer vacation” from this dreamy, idyllic state of quality time with my children… Then I will remind myself that summer is when my “schooling” kicks into high gear, and how proud I will be to have an intensive graduate degree after 3 short months!

It is truly precious time we are given.

Last summer, we went on a trip of a lifetime – 2 weeks by car from Minnesota to the East Coast and back. We called it the “Beckman’s Great Lakes Tour”, and we focused on the journey as much as the destination. (Read all about it here) None of us will forget the laughter, memories, sights and sounds of our time spent savoring one another and our great country.

And that we will have forever…long after the textbooks have torn and the ink in our notebooks has faded away.

How are you planning to spend TIME with your kids this summer?

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My 11 year old daughter came home from school with this story and I was amazed by it’s imagination, truth and depth. Of course I’m biased, but I see a future in writing.

The following is reprinted verbatim, with permission from the author, Danielle Mae Beckman.

“You would think happy thoughts and it would feel like a firefly was just dancing across a blank canvas and it would create an illusion of funkyness, sorrow, joy, and compassion. You would slightly paint your colored brush across its back and would create something wild and unweary. It would feel like you were the only one living in man-kind and you would be surrounded with beatiful creatures. But really your just painting a picture in your dull studio in the busy town of New York City with all the hustuling and bustling around town.

People always rushing around acting like they were going to die any second. And you, you would be sitting there watching it all. Observing. Noticing. Like other people should do.

Do me a favor stop…think about the beautiful world all around you..think of how much people ignore it and rush on with their lives. So do me a another favor.

Draw yourself a painting and go into a world with love, compassion and imagination.

Note from author –
Slow down and enjoy life… and let your imagination run wild. ”

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Some years ago I began a silly little tradition with my kids when they were struggling to fall asleep. They would seek me out and utter those familiar, fateful words, “Mom, I can’t sleep!” And inevitably I would end up frustrated because what do they want me to do about it? (And besides, it’s MY time after I finally get them in bed!)

So one night I said, “Okay, I’m going to give you the magic sleepy potion, but it’s going to work extra fast so you’d better be sure that you are ready to get right back to bed so you don’t fall asleep while you’re walking!” And then I proceeded to lay my hands over their head and face, taking extra care on the closed eyes (must not be opened!) Then I stroked their arms, rubbed their ears and neck and sealed it with a kiss. Well, as you can imagine, (even still at ages 8-12) they love it.

The whole thing became a ritual of sorts, even though everyone knows it’s complete silliness and no one believes in its “powers.” Half the fun is just playing, and it turned our mutual frustrations into joyful interactions, and bonding. But, it is only reserved for the most dire of “I can’t fall asleep” situations!

In the end, however, I think it all boils down to this: everyone needs to know that someone cares about their plight. And even if we don’t have the answers they need, it just matters that we show up.

And sometimes that means handing out sleepy potion…